Friendship Gauging
by FalconPain
Summary: A teenager's journal reveals his thoughts about his part-time job, his best friend, and the sinister corruption that threatens to overrun and destroy both of them. At least, that's what it looks like to him... A non-Shibuya story.


**Author's note:**

This is not a story about Shibuya.

Shibuya is merely one district in Tokyo. Tokyo is merely one city in Japan. Japan is merely one country on the Earth. There are many other countries and cities and districts. All have UGs.

Some are vastly different from others. Some are similar. Sometimes they borrow ideas from each other.

* * *

**Friendship Gauging**

* * *

_Monday, July 21_

Only five more weeks until school starts. This bites.

My English teacher last year used to say that if you're feeling bad, you should take the time to write down what you're thinking so that you don't have to hold it inside. I think she just wanted us to do more homework.

And here I am, believing her.

Remember when summer was fun? We didn't have to do anything. We slept in, played games, hung out with our friends, went to the park, saw a movie or two each week... you know, fun. Mom and Dad paid for everything. When they didn't, I had my allowance. I didn't have to worry about anything but keeping out of trouble. Sometimes not even that.

Not this year. Mom says I need to make some money for myself. She says I need to be responsible. Not like we don't learn that in school.

So now I'm wasting forty hours of my summer each week over at the J of the M at Westlake.

I don't know why I applied there. Probably because it's a new outlet and they didn't have employees yet. I mean, Jupiter of the Monkey? What's that supposed to mean? Who thought that was a good name for a brand of sportswear? Nikki says it's popular in Japan. They probably named it.

Nikki's my boss. She can be a real jerk sometimes. The rest of the time, she acts like we should be lucky to know her. The worst part is, sometimes she makes us believe it. Take my schedule. Eight hours Monday to Thursday. I work morning on Friday and late afternoon Sunday, leaving Friday night to Sunday morning completely open. So yeah, I can always look forward to that part, and I'd rather be free Friday afternoon than Sunday night, anyway.

Not to mention the job pays pretty good. No employee discount for the goods, though. Just as well. Who coughs up over sixty dollars for a shirt, anyway?

So yeah. Working sucks. But it could be a lot worse.

I don't think I told Troy about the job. He knows that Mom's been on my case about it, but I didn't tell him where I'm working. Good thing, too. He'd probably show up and try to talk to me all day, and then Nikki'd get mad.

If he ever stops in, I want to be there. She'll probably throw him out herself. One of these days, he'll realize that girls _don't_ think it's charming to walk up to them and try out pick-up lines. Especially not if they saw you use one on another girl in the past minute.

But, you know, I can't hate him. Yeah, he's lazier than I am and he's pathetic around women. But he's nice, he's good for a laugh, and he always repays his debts. Good at sports, too.

...yeah, he's definitely going to come by J of the M as soon as he knows it's there. Or that I'm there.

Wow. I'm feeling better already. This really works? Maybe I'll keep doing this.

* * *

_Tuesday, July 22_

Another boring day today. If this keeps up, I think this is gonna wind up looking like a diary.

Not a lot of people are stopping in yet. So few, in fact, that we pretty much get to stand around and watch them all the time, because there's nothing else worth checking. Nikki says it'll change once word of mouth gets out. I don't think she's gonna change the name of the store, though.

The highlight was the guys in black showing up. Nikki says they're from some group that's gonna be working with our company. I've never heard of them, but apparently they've got a lot of our stock and they've done great things for the branches overseas. Of course, I'm not gonna be dealing with them. I get the regular customers while Nikki and a couple of the others go behind closed doors.

If I try really hard, I can pretend like this is something cool. You know, top secret contracting and all that. Not likely, though. Probably they just want things cheap. Knowing Nikki, it's gonna cost them.

Other than work, not much happened today. Troy's out doing stuff, Mom's making a lot of angry phone calls, and I'm stuck finding leftovers to eat.

I need to get out and do something soon. Seriously.

* * *

_Wednesday, July 23_

I don't think those J of the M guys understand this country.

They deal in all those athletic goods and don't actually sell equipment. You'd think the two things go hand in hand. Apparently not. You can get a tracksuit, but not a stopwatch.

Not to mention it's all the same color. I can't imagine anyone getting more than two outfits here unless they wanna be called boring. Even worse, it's all in Japanese. They could at least _try_ to market to people who _live_ here.

And now they're trying to market pins.

I live kinda close to Westlake, so I walk to work all the time. Do you think I've ever come across someone wearing pins? At all?

If I'm reading the display right, there's some kind of collectible game involved here. Of course, you can't tell by looking at these things. Just some pretty artwork. You know what? We've had this game here before. We called it pogs. Remember pogs? Would anyone be caught dead with them today?

Nikki says it's popular in Japan. I believe her. They'll buy anything over there. So maybe this is more like that Beyblade crap all over again.

I'm not gonna argue, though. If someone asks for it, I'll sell it to them. Sales are sales, and a job's a job.

I stopped by the Center today to see if anything's coming up. Several concerts, the usual lame festivals, women's basketball, stuff like that. I'm thinking about seeing if I can get Troy to see something with me. It doesn't even need to be that good. I just need something to do.

Couldn't reach him tonight. He's on a date. I think I'll try again tomorrow. Knowing his track record, odds are he's gonna need to take his mind off things, too.

* * *

_Thursday, July 24_

Okay. I'm not so sure about Nikki anymore.

I came in this morning to find that someone sprayed graffiti on the front of the store. I thought it was just some punks, so I dropped off my stuff and got the key to the janitor's closet. That stuff's hell to get off if you let it dry, you know.

When she saw me trying to wipe it off, she got pissed. Apparently I'm supposed to just leave it there because it's part of the advertising. Yeah. I don't know what kind of clothing store is proud of having gang symbols painted on the front, but they're usually kinda rundown places. Not Westlake. And I don't exactly see punk crowds in there anyway.

Anyway, she says she was told the influx is gonna start on Saturday. That's my day off, so I won't be there to see it.

I called Troy around lunchtime. Can I call it or what? There's not gonna be a second date, and he's kinda down. He'll get over it soon. He always does.

Anyway, I asked him about seeing a show at the Center. Nothing good's playing this weekend, but there's this one band performing on Wednesday he likes. I can't remember the name, but he thinks I might like them. I picked up the tickets less than an hour ago, so I'm set. I have no idea if he'll want to invite some girl to go with him, but I only got two just in case. I know he's good for his half of

* * *

/

* * *

/

* * *

/

* * *

/

* * *

You know what? I've tried writing something here four times now, and I'll be damned if I'm going to start over again.

It's two in the morning. Troy's mom just called. She just got off the phone with the cops. They found his body. Shot once in the knee and once in the head. They've got a suspect, and they're chasing him.

I mean... damn. I'd say worse, but I just filled a few pages with worse and I never want to see them again.

What the hell? I don't care if he was downtown! You don't shoot people! I hope they find that jackass and pump him full of

_Forget it. This isn't helping._

* * *

_Saturday, July 26_

I've been thinking.

I just flipped back through this thing, and I notice I haven't gone a single day without talking about Troy. I also think I ripped out the last part of Thursday when throwing out Friday. It's not worth rewriting. Not now.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's because I've got this stupid job and I need someone to remind me to have some fun.

I know I made fun of him a lot, but when it came down to it... Troy's my best friend. Always has been, as long as I can remember. I don't know why I didn't think about it before.

He didn't deserve this. No one does.

Funeral's on Tuesday. There's no way in hell I'm not going. No matter what Nikki says.

Actually, she's been nice about this. I mean, I didn't go to work yesterday. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I don't think anyone could blame me. I didn't miss much, anyway. Just a few customers and a staff meeting, she says.

I went in for half of today, though. Yeah, it's Saturday, but I needed the distraction, I need the hours, and there were supposed to be a bunch of customers in today, right? Well, there weren't. Just the usual handful. Nikki made a few calls about this. They want us to keep waiting. Whatever.

Man, I feel like crap.

* * *

_Sunday, July 27_

Okay, I need to calm down. This is getting to me.

I was helping someone pick out a shirt today when I saw a couple of guys walk past the aisle. One of them... some kid I've never seen before. But I could almost swear the other one was Troy. He had the same jacket, anyway. About the same height... his hair was pretty mussed, though. It's probably just me. I would have taken a closer look, but I was busy.

I mean it. Work actually picked up today. Seriously. We had at least fifteen customers while I was there, and it sounds like there were even more this morning. Whatever those guys said they'd do is working. Nikki's even in a better mood than before. Maybe she was just being all pissy before because nothing was selling.

I guess that means I'll need to wear something nicer tomorrow. She might get mad if I'm not acting professional.

I just found those tickets again today. The band's called Dropping The Hammer. I can't find anything about them online. Don't know what I'm gonna do with the tickets. I might just head to the Center on Wednesday and scalp one. We'll see.

I think I feel better when I keep busy. I should start doing that instead of writing all this stuff down.

* * *

_Monday, July 28_

Okay. Forget about stopping this. This stuff needs to be written somewhere. I don't care what Nikki says.

They were back again today. Troy and the other kid.

No, not some guy who looks like Troy. _He's Troy_.

He could've fooled me at first. He walked up to Nikki and asked her about one of the jackets we sell. No pickup lines. I don't even think he tried to check her out. I mean, _I _can't help but check her out sometimes, and I have to put up with her all day, so what's keeping him?

Of course, he just stopped into the same clothing store two days in a row with the same guy. After what he said about that last date, I have to wonder...

No, seriously. He was fiddling with his cell at the cash register when he saw me walking up to him. He obviously noticed me, because he ran out of the place right away. I don't know why he'd do that.

I tried running after him, but he was long gone by the time I got out of the store. Damn. He's an athlete, but I didn't think I'm _that_ out of shape.

He left his cell behind. You know, I don't really see him using it a lot, so I can't really tell it on sight. But I checked it out, just to be sure. He hasn't gotten any calls lately. The last one he got was on Thursday. From me.

There's no way in hell that's not Troy.

I called his mom to ask about it. She got pissed at me. Yes, I told her, I know the funeral's tomorrow, but I saw him and he left his cell here. Now she's even more pissed. Apparently she'd just gotten back from the funeral home, and _they put his body on display there._

If that's not enough, Nikki got pissed at me. I had to give her the phone for "lost and found" and listen to her yell at me about some rule I've never even heard of before. I told her that I wasn't at that staff meeting, and then it came down to some angry glares and me promising that I would never talk to anyone about any of our customers again.

Seriously. Those guys made that one of the terms of the whole business deal. All of our customers must be treated with confidentiality. Don't talk about any of them. In other words, I'm breaking company policy right now just by writing this. I think I'm going to have to start hiding this somewhere soon, just in case.

I'm not going to stop writing. This is too important. My best friend's alive. Someone faked his death, and did it so well his own mom can't tell. And it sounds like a lot of people are in on it. Including my own boss.

What the hell am I supposed to do about this?

* * *

_Tuesday, July 29_

This is just stupid. I came into work today and Nikki got pissed at me for it. She actually told me to leave and go to the funeral. That's right. Even though I know he's not dead. And I can't tell anyone about it.

It's just as well, at least for the moment. Tons of people showed up. Not a whole lot of girls, but tons of relatives and several people I know from school. I don't want to be the one to ruin the moment for everyone. Not unless I have to.

Everyone pretty much had the same things to say. Troy was a nice boy, he was just starting to figure out what he was going to do with his life, the crime rate's too high around here, things like that. His father says they caught the guy. I'm not sure what that means anymore. For all I know, he could be some guy hired to fake Troy's death. Not that I would do it by actually firing a gun twice, and... you know, that body looks damn realistic. I'd almost swear it's the real deal.

I ran into a girl about my age on the way out. Seems she's one of his cousins, which I guess means she's off limits even to someone like him. I asked her about that, actually. Yeah, he's hit on pretty much all of her friends, but they're still her friends and... really, most of them didn't hate him.

Anyway, she told me a few stories about Troy, she was still sad about everything, we got to talking, one thing led to another, and now she's going with me to the Center to see Dropping The Hammer tomorrow. I kinda feel sleazy about it, but I had the tickets and we both need to feel a little better.

Whatever's going on, I hope it ends soon.

* * *

_Wednesday, July 30_

_Please_ tell me this is going to end soon.

Work today was madness. You'd think we were a major department store or something. It wouldn't be a lie to say we had more than 150 customers today. Naturally, I didn't get much of a break between helping them.

Nikki actually told us we're number one in the area. Funny. Before today, I'd hardly seen anyone wearing blue and white sportswear in the street. And I still didn't see half the expected amount when I left today.

We're even selling pins.

You know, I'd like to be happy about this. But the more I think about this, I keep coming back to the same theory. It sounds like something out of the movies, but... honestly. A hit attempt? Keeping quiet about the victim's survival? Business suddenly booming without any explanation? Those guys in black might as well just wear signs proclaiming that they're from the mob or whatever.

Does that mean Troy's working for them? I hope not.

Things didn't get really bad until the time Victoria and I went to that show. It was okay, I guess. I don't think I need to buy any of their albums. I don't know what she thinks about them.

Honestly, I don't think either of us was really paying attention to the show. Not after what happened at the burger place.

We stopped in to eat something before the show. And Troy was there. Yeah.

He was with a girl this time. I wish I could call that a sign that things are getting back to normal.

Anyway, Victoria freaked. As soon as Troy saw her, he tried to slip out unnoticed. It didn't happen. She followed him out, calling his name.

By the time I got out there, he was long gone. She was staring blankly into space. Honestly, I can't blame her.

She never went back into that place. I bumped into his "friend" when I went back in for the food. Oddly, Victoria doesn't remember her going by.

I wanted to tell her what was going on. But I couldn't. I didn't know enough. I still don't. And, of course, if I told her, I could have been out of a job.

Whatever's going on... this lie is starting to affect people. Not just me, either. This isn't right. None of this is right.

You know what? Screw my job.

* * *

_Thursday, July 31_

I'm screwed.

If anybody reads this, hold onto it. If I go missing, the cops need to see this. Give it to them when you get a chance.

I haven't seen enough gangster films. You've got the ones where the guy threatens to tell all, and his body's found dead the next morning. And you've got the ones where the guy tells all, and the police protect him, and the guy in charge is brought up on charges, and everything works out. I don't know which one will happen.

I don't even know who the guy in charge is. I think I'd have to be an idiot to ask around.

Troy showed up again with that girl from last night. I had no idea if he was stopping by today, but I figured he would one of these days. The important thing is that I was prepared.

He immediately went over to chat up Nikki. I didn't get the gist of the conversation, but it didn't sound like flirting. If it was, the girl didn't act like it was. Actually, if I'm thinking right, Nikki looked more like she was trying to recommend clothes to him.

He bought a bunch of them. In cash. I don't know where he got it, but judging by everything that's going on, I'm starting to get a pretty good idea.

I was hoping to get close and be subtle about this. I never got the chance. He beat me to it.

In fact, he pretty much did the last thing I expected him to do.

He headed in my direction, grabbed my arm, led me into the store restroom, and actually _talked_ to me.

What did we talk about? I don't even have to remember. Like I said, I was prepared.

Tape recorders can get damaged, though, so I'm writing this down, just in case.

_"Listen. We need to talk."  
__"You're damn right we need to talk!"  
__"I'm serious. That stuff you're doing, you need to stop it."  
__"Huh? What stuff?"_

Okay, that was terrible. I need to sound more convincing when I play innocent.

_"I know what you think is happening. I know what you're planning. I'm serious. Don't."  
__"How do you..."  
__"It's not what you think. Just calm down."  
__"Then what is it?"  
__"I can't say. But trust me, it's not worth worrying about."  
__"Then why do you keep running?"  
__"I'm not running. It's just..."_

I still don't know if he was stalling for time here.

_"...listen. I'll level with you. You weren't supposed to see me."  
__"...wait. This is about me?"  
__"Not exactly. I shouldn't be here. It's better you act like I'm not."  
__"But that's stupid!"  
__"Your boss is right about this one. Listen to her."  
__"So what, you want me to act like you're dead?"  
__"Everyone else thinks I am. Go with it."  
__"But... it's not true!"  
__"Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't."_

Okay, stupid things like that annoy me.

_"What's that..."  
__"I can't explain it. But... I'll just say this. This hasn't been the best week for me. Even I'm not sure if I'll make it out alive. So... until I know for sure... don't worry about me."  
__"But, if you..."  
__"If I don't make it... it's no different than if I'd been shot to death a week ago, right?"  
__"And if you do?"  
__"If I live through this... I'll tell you."  
__"You will?"  
__"Of course. You're my friend, right?"_

He needs to start acting like one.

_"If I'm really your friend, you could let me help you!"  
__"No. I can't."  
__"Why not?"  
__"Don't you understand? There's nothing you can do right now! So stop worrying about it!"  
__"So what, I'm just supposed to forget about you?"  
__"No. You don't have to forget me. I hope you never do. Just... ignore me."  
__"But... how can you..."  
__"I'll make it simple. I wasn't here. I wasn't at that diner. As far as you know, I died in a shooting. And if it turns out I didn't, I'll tell you."_

You know, I don't think I've ever heard him so serious about something so ridiculous before.

_"Don't tell anyone. Not my family, not my friends, no one. In fact, lose that tape."_

Oh, crap.

_"...uh... how did you..."  
__"I know you. I can tell these things."_

The tape didn't pick up the next part, but I'll never be able to forget it. It was just a whisper, but he told me that it's best if I get rid of this diary, too.

I mean, what the hell? I haven't told _anyone_ about this thing! If I...

_"...who the hell told you?"  
__"No one. Just... believe me. I know."_

I don't think I understood his answer, because the next five seconds was largely swearing to myself.

_"Calm down. Please."  
__"But... I'm screwed. I'm doomed. They're going to..."  
__"Listen to me! They aren't after you! They never were!"  
__"So there IS a they?"  
__"I'm not with them. I mean, not really. It's..."  
__"...my life is over."  
__"No! It isn't! Don't even joke about that!"  
__"I'm not joking!"  
__"Listen. Calm down. Don't say anything, and nothing will happen to you."  
__"...how much do they know?"  
__"You're not in trouble. They know you work here. As long as anyone else..."  
__"Do they know where I live?"  
__"You know what? Go outside. Take a walk. You need it."  
__"No. No, I need to work, don't I?"  
__"...please?"  
__"...no. Nikki's already mad, isn't she?"_

I didn't actually say it to him, but there was no way in hell I was going to take a walk. Honestly, with everything they knew... I've seen those movies. I know what a hit setup looks like. I'm not that stupid.

That was pretty much the end of the conversation. We headed back out, and I tried to look calm. I don't think anyone was convinced. Troy tried to sound friendly as he left.

_"You went to see the Dropping concert, right?"  
__"Wha... oh, yeah, I did."  
__"Did you like it?"  
__"...it was... okay, I guess."  
__"You know, I wish I could've seen it with you."_

I wasn't sure what he was trying to imply, but after that conversation, I wasn't going to do something dumb like point out that I saw him right near the venue.

And with that, he was gone.

I want out. I can't take this anymore. I'm going to have to quit my job. It's the only way.

...except... did he say that my job's the only reason why I'm still...?

I'm serious. I'm screwed.

I'm using the safe. This and the tape are going in there. It's not safe for me to keep these things anymore.

But I'm not locking it. I don't want this to die with me.

If they come for me, let everyone know about this. They can't silence everyone, can they?

* * *

_Friday, August 1_

Maybe I'm not screwed after all.

I just got done going back over my notes from yesterday. They're kinda embarrassing now.

Honestly, he's my best friend. He's the one going through all the hardship. I have nothing to do with this. He told me himself. So why was I worried more about myself than him?

I wish I could apologize. But I can't. Not unless he tells me I can. If I even get the chance.

I was still upset about everything this morning. I went in, tried to help out with the first few customers, then went back and just cleaned a bit.

Then Troy and the girl showed up.

I still hadn't learned my lesson. I moved in their direction and tried to listen in.

They were buying pins.

Yeah. I know. I still have no idea what anyone sees in those things. But...

The conversation wasn't much better. The girl said something about being taken out if they don't find some guy, and Troy said they would just have to kill him first. Yeah. That was a bit of an eye-opener.

Not as big as the one that happened shortly afterward.

_"Ugh. It's getting too hard to concentrate in here."  
__"I thought you were gonna clear that up with your friend."  
__"I tried. Believe me."  
__"What did you te-"  
__"He's scared. That's the problem."  
__"For you?"  
__"Not just me. He thinks he's a target."  
__"Him? But... he's not. You weren't, either, were you? You said it was just one guy?"  
__"I tried to tell him that. But..."  
__"So why don't you explain it to him again?"  
__"It won't work. There's too much noise."_

That's odd. I know the store was quiet. Even the tape agrees. The number of customers has been going down since Wednesday. If Nikki's to be believed, this is normal and tolerable. I'd hate to think I've been working for nothing more than a fad. Other than those pins...

_"If this keeps up, we'll need to head out soon."  
__"Not yet. Not until I'm sure he's okay."  
__"But... if you can't help him, then..."  
__"I'm not leaving him like this. I don't want him to quit his job because of me."_

That's one of the things that still bugs me about all of this. I keep calling Troy my best friend, but... he always understands me better than I understand him. I wouldn't have been able to predict the moral dilemmas he's going through like that. Yet when he talks about me, he's practically a mindreader.

_"But... we can't worry about him now! We have to finish this!"  
__"We have the rest of the day, right?"  
__"Listen to me! He's a lost cause!"  
__"No. He's not." _He can sound pretty damn convincing when he gets angry. _"He's my friend. He hasn't been himself lately, and I'm not gonna pretend that this is okay for him. He wants to help me. If that's not enough reason to want to help him, I don't know what is."_

A short pause.

_"He can't help you. You know that."  
__"That doesn't mean we can't..."  
__"Excuse me! Just what do you think you're doing?"_

That would be Nikki blasting out my eardrums from behind me. I didn't have an excuse ready.

_"Oh, I was just..."  
__"Rather than sit there and watch the customers, you could try to help them!"  
__"I know! But they..."  
__"I'm not paying you to eavesdrop."  
__"I can explain!"  
__"No, you can't. I distinctly told you not to explain, didn't I?"  
__"...yes. And I haven't."  
__"Make sure you don't. We've been getting complaints. Your attitude is having a negative effect on our customers."  
__"What's that supposed to mean?"_

I hate listening to myself when I'm upset.

_"Take it however you want. If you can't get your act together, you're of no use to me. Consider yourself on break."  
__"Break? Screw that! __**I qui-**__"  
__"No. You don't. You're on break. Twenty minutes. Get going."_

She practically shoved me out of the store at that point. I'm glad there weren't too many customers watching, or else I'd never be able to live it down.

I don't know what I was thinking at the time. I was pissed. I wasn't even thinking about Troy and them. If that had gone on much longer, I don't think I would have come back, no matter

Okay, that's interesting. I forgot it was still taping when I left it. I haven't heard this part before.

_"Sorry you had to see me like that."_ That was Nikki, of course.  
_"Not a problem." _Troy. _"I think he needed that."  
__"Let me know if you need anything else rung up, okay?"_

I wonder if all store owners are like Nikki. Apparently all you have to do is buy a lot of her stuff and she starts treating you like she's known you all her life. No wonder she treats me like she does.

_"Did you know he was listening in on us?"  
__"Of course."  
__"So all that stuff you said about him be-"  
__"Are you kidding? I meant every word of it."_

There's a few seconds of silence here before he finished.

_"Come on. He's probably outside by now. This is our chance."  
__"You're sure this is worth it? He might talk."  
__"He won't. I asked him not to."  
__"And yet... wait. He didn't... he did? Again?"  
__"Does it matter? I know him. He'll do the right thing in the end. He's better at it than I am."_

And... a click. The kind you get when you press stop on a tape recorder. Damn, he's good.

If you ask me, he's also right. I should have listened to him sooner.

I didn't realize it until after I decided to forget about the job and go home. I was just walking and suddenly... I don't know. An epiphany, if that's the right word. It's like everything just decided to clear up for me and start making sense.

Troy and her are the ones in trouble... and they're still worrying about me. Even though I'm not the one in danger...

I haven't been in danger. Never have been. And I won't be... as long as I don't talk. No one wants me to talk... not even the people who would benefit from it. And... they wouldn't, anyway. If anything I could have done would have helped, they would have asked me by now.

This isn't about me. This is about them. The best thing to do is to respect their wishes. Even if their wish is that I disregard them entirely. They don't hate me or anything. It's just... the way it has to be. Why make things worse for them?

So I went back to Westlake and finished my half-day hours and Nikki never brought it up again. I couldn't find the tape recorder where I last put it, which scared the hell out of me for a while, at least until I found it... in my bag. I didn't know what that was about, but I guess that last recording explains it well enough.

Troy wants me to leave it up to him. So I'll leave it up to him. It's for the best.

Tomorrow's my day off. I should call up some of my other friends. I get the feeling I've been ignoring them.

* * *

_Sunday, August 3_

And just as soon as I was ready to go on without him, he came back.

He's looking a lot better now. A lot more talkative, too. It's like he just had a great weight lifted off his shoulders.

He still won't tell me what the hell happened to him. It doesn't matter anymore, he says. The important thing is that it's over and he's back.

I wonder how he intends to tell his family. Come to think of it, I wonder how he could have even explained it to me. I still don't know where that dead body came from. Funerals aren't exactly cheap, either.

He might pay somebody back for it. Whatever happened, he picked up a lot of money along the way. A lot more than I made in the past two weeks, anyway. He also told me he picked up more clothes than he can use and he might need to get rid of some of them. So, in the end, I wound up with a J of the M hooded jacket for my trouble.

I wore it to work today. Nikki rolled her eyes at me.

That girl Troy was with those last few days? I ran into her on the way home. She seems a bit distracted, but not entirely unfriendly. I don't think I'll bring up those things she said about me.

Anyway, her name's Caroline, and she and Troy are _not_ going out. I asked if it was due to the obvious reason.

It wasn't. He didn't hit on her once.

I called him later to ask about it. He kinda blew off the question of whether or not he likes her, but said that a lot of things happened to him lately and he's been reconsidering a lot of things. Not just taking things seriously, but... he realizes he's been kinda objectifying the girls he meets and he's trying to change that. Not exactly something I expected him to think about, given the situation, but... I guess I don't know everything he's gone through.

Anyway, he's not looking for love right now, but he's not giving up entirely. It'll come again, or something like that.

I asked about his other friend, the guy he was with a week ago. _That_ was a conversation stopper. All he said was that not everyone involved was as lucky as he and Caroline were.

Caroline told me she's new in town, and she just got a new job. Faster than she expected, really, but she didn't seem to me like she was particularly looking for one. Right now, she stands on 4th in the direction of Union and... I guess she's a guard or something. I didn't see her stop anyone, though. She says it has something to do with an A-R-G, or something like that. I have no idea what that is.

I doubt she's interested in me.

All in all, I think the situation's over. As far as I know, if anyone was out to get Troy, they've stopped. And no one's out to get me, either. Sorta. Troy says I might meet them yet, but not unless I do something to deserve it. I guess that means I still need to keep quiet.

As I write this, I'm recording over the tape. He's right. No one needs to hear about this.

I'm putting these notes in the safe, though. There's a few good lessons in here, and I'd like to have them handy if I ever forget. I hate forgetting things.

There's no need to worry. I'm using the combination. I promise that no one else will ever read this.

* * *

_Sunday, August 3_

Only three more weeks until school starts. I intend to enjoy them. Even if I have to work in the meantime.

It's just as well. I think I need to learn a little more about what it means to be responsible...


End file.
